Uber Blokes
31 October 2005
After all that chatter in my last blog about Norseman, I thought it time to talk about the new idiom used to describe extreme blokey-types, or manly men à la U2’s, Bono.
The idiom is “ubersexuals” girls. Not to be confused with metrosexuals, those very cute models CK contracts to do his undie ads. FYI Über is German for “over” as in overly testosteroney.
So, have you got a visual yet? If you haven’t, it looks like this:
In the musky-smelling corner there’s Bono decked out in his no-name brand black-upon-black, unshaved, kinda scrufty, blue-black shades, hair a tad oily—if it isn’t shoved under one of his daggy homeboy hats—poised to win some sort of international peace price, all the while oozing charisma.
In the perfume-for-men corner there’s Olympic swimmer, Ian Thorpe, the undisputed Aussie king of metrosexiness. Tall, sleek, smooth, groomed, pierced, perfect bod decorated with gold medals, the Thorpedo—and I’m bottom-lining here—is simply yummy (as in your most fave choccies that you just want to eat up fast).
Bet you’ve got the picture now! It kinda looks like prize breeding bull with very large gonads versus young rogue elephant destined for alpha dominance, doesn’t it? Well, that’s if you were to make zoological associations.
Do we love one more than the other?
Nah! Since both the above examples are sooo gorgeous that one couldn’t possibly choose - that would be torture. Thus, the sensible compromise would be one on each arm, as in an uber on the left and a metro on the right, and preferably on the same date.
Gawd, and wouldn’t that be a date with off-the-chart bragging factor.
Hmm … ubers and metros, Norseman and Neanderthals, dags and drongos—makes me wonder how the fellas classify us! Don’t think I’ll go there.
