Good Fortune
24 January 2006
Oh my god, oh my god, sound the horns, pop the champers … prepare to be green with envy, Bloggers!
I have an incredibly auspicious foretelling, freshly extracted from a gen-you-wine fortune cookie given deliberately to me by the owner/manager of a reputable Chinese restaurant.
And once my prophesized fate has come to pass, I know I will be able to sell said fortune-cookie insert on e-bay. Really! It is propitious to the extent that I’m absolute in my confidence that auctioning it off will reap an extraordinary deal.
But it’s not the selling on e-bay for an exorbitant price that is my destined good fortune - though that bit will be excellent when it happensm - it’s the actual prediction that is so fantastic. That is for a divorced person of a certain, but still youthful age, who has been dating a very handsome, uber-euro restaurateur for several months now.
So here goes. It reads: “You or a close friend will be married within a year.”
Arghhh, can you believe that!
And to be sure, first it says “You” (that would be me). Then it says “or a close friend” (that would be best girlfriend, Isa).
In other words it does not say “A close friend” first and then “You” second.
I’m clarifying this for Isa’s sake, because she thinks she’ll be the “close friend” married within the year.
Even though Isa has been dating her bloke, Greg, for almost a year now, and their lovechild arrived barely a month ago, it’ll be me getting married. The fortune-cookie insert said so.
Huh, but you’re right, keen-eyed Bloggers. I did skim over the bit about the arrival of Isa’s baby boy. And there’s a very good reason for that. Her enormous, protruding belly bumping into me late last year was a regular reminder that I’m a DOINK: divorced, one Income, no kids.
Whether Nikov will comply with fate and pop the question this year and thereby liberate me from DOINK-ism is the big unknown.
It could be that sooner rather than later, Greg drops to one knee thus proving me wrong about the sequencing of the “You” “or a close friend.” But Greg stuffed up his knees playing college footy, which means he’d fall on his face attempting a chivalrous proposal.
Hmm, think I’ll just give the insert to Isa. After all, the best friends could do with a bit of extra help, and some good fortune.
