Sock Cleavage
17 July 2006
If you’re going for the Ukrainian bosom-girl look, forget Victoria’s Secret. Sock cleavage is the way to go!
I know this because recently I shoved a pair of anklets in my bra – one sock per cup.
You see my boobage enhancing VicSec push up was missing. (God knows where Nikov tossed it during our last episode of passion-filled frenzy!) And the second best bra was in the wash basket, which meant total disaster: wearing the third best, a sloppy cotton thing with zero built-in shaping technology.
Anklet socks to the rescue!
Now, I used anklets because there’s less fabric in a tinier sock, and well, I don’t need a lot of sock. If, Bloggers, you need more sock, apropos cleavage, you might try soccer socks since they’re knee length and thus include more fabric, i.e. bulking agent.
Keira Knightley should have kept her soccer socks from Bend it like Beckham. Even though she was only a young thing of sixteen in that movie, not much has happened in the last 5 years. I mean she still has minus six percent body fat and is much in need of very long soccer socks.
So just like your granny did in the pre-VicSec olden days, shove your preferred-size sock into your bra cup, maneuver said sock into position and woo-hoo, instant bosom!
And you know what? The beauty of sock cleavage is that you can manipulate it depending on the occasion. Think pumping air into a tire. More air equals greater radial circumference and less air equals … well less.
So if your occasion, i.e. a bonking-potential date, calls for greater cleaved radial then add bulkier sock. If you’re anticipating meeting with a lecher boss, client, or coworker consider less bosom vis-à-vis a flimsy silk anklet, or better still a jogging bra.
There is nothing like a jogging or sports bra to give a girl a very natural, androgynous mono-boob look.
Consider this: I think it goes without saying that Ukrainian bosom-girls have never seen, heard of, and would certainly not wear a jogging bra.
But I have no doubt they keep soccer socks in their drawers!
