Ham Spam
14 August 2006
Years ago, the Monty Python blokes sang a funny ditty about spam.
But they sang about ham spam, not email spam. Spam that came in a tin - that was made up of pork parts, not spam that came in words along lines of For better performance, be proud of your parts, enlarge your pork.
The word spam, like the word gay, no longer means what it used to mean. Where spam meant tinned meat, gay meant happily excited or merry.
Unfortunately, you can no longer say something like, “I feel so totally gay today” without everyone within earshot staring at you nervously, which itself is quite sad - that you’d draw askance looks from strangers if they heard you say you were gay.
I don’t know about you, but I sure as hell don’t feel in any way gay when my inbox is filled with spam about underperforming pork.
Actually, I feel sorry for the blokes who believe that self-defeating, sexually damaging codswallop à la size and performance.
Ask any woman what she feels is important and the answer won’t be, “My fella’s outrigger would be sooo much better if functioned like a torpedo.”
In fact, she’s more likely to say, “What’s really important is that my fella is loving and respectful.”
The Monty Python blokes were having fun when they sang about tinned pork apropos spam, but email spam about pork is not fun. I mean there’s nothing good humored about inadvertently humiliating another person’s body parts.
If you never heard the Monty Python spam ditty and were wondering about it, it was a simple rhyme and it went like this:
Spam, spam, spam, spam
Spam, spam, spam, spam
Lovely spam.
Lovely spam.
Keep in mind, they were singing about, and making fun of, working class Britain’s favorite budget food, spam: canned ham and pork.
They sure weren’t celebrating with song those aggravating and ever-increasing junk messages that guarantee, but fail miserably to make the man in your life proud of his pork.
September 14th, 2006 at 10:41 am