Archive for September, 2006
Fifth Wheel - With Feel
25 September 2006
Best friends, Isa and Greg, asked me to dinner on Saturday night. Another couple was invited too. Nikov was working, and so that meant I’d be the fifth wheel!
“I don’t want to be the fifth wheel.” I told Isa. “Being the with feel … Oh God, see!” I trilled. “Being the fifth frigging wheel is sooo fraught with feelings a spoonerism slips right out of my mouth!”
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Girl Cats and Bells
18 September 2006
My neighbor’s cat caught a bird this morning. I didn’t know whether to yell at her for being bad, or marvel at her hunting skill. I didn’t do either.
I took the still live bird from the cat’s mouth and cradled it in my hand while I called the local small animal and bird shelter. The volunteer who answered the phone told me to put the bird in a dark box. “Don’t hold it,” she said. “You’re a predator, you’ll alarm it.”
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What’s your BMI?
11 September 2006
I’m moving to Spain.
And not because I’ll be nearer to all those hunky, World Cup Soccer euro-types; it’s because the Spanish like their girls with a healthy body mass index.
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Food Spillages
5 September 2006
I’ve just thrown my washing in the machine: Peach Bellini and olive-oil stained gauchos, white shirt polka dotted with bits of melted chocolate, dried egg yolk adhered to fibers of sweater.
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