Girl Chat
26 June 2007
Do you place more importance on sex when it is available or when it isn’t available?
I notice when I get together with my singleton girlfriends, versus the coupled girlfriends, the singletons talk about sex or the lack thereof, with more frequency than the coupled girlfriends.
Not that I’ve conducted a survey or asked probing questions, it’s simply apparent that singletons feel more at liberty to talk about whether they’re getting it or not, whereas the coupled girls seem more reserved vis-à-vis discussions about their sex lives.
Presumably the coupled friends are having regular sex and thus don’t feel the need to talk about it. However that’s an assumption; just because two people are married or in a committed relationship doesn’t mean they have sex regularly, irregularly or even have sex at all.
I sometimes wonder if coupled girls are more reserved about discussing whether or not they are satisfied sexually due to feeling that they will betray the confidence of their partner if they talk.
The other possibility is that a relationship/marriage may appear to onlookers as though it’s doing well. And rather than admit that it isn’t, in as much as it’s absent sex, some girls might be more likely to avoid discussing the truth in the effort to maintain an illusion of happiness.
But it’s not where and when and why we feel at liberty to talk about our sex life that I’m addressing, it’s whether we place more importance on sex when sex is absent from our lives or whether we place more importance on sex when we’re sexually active.
I’ll start the ball rolling by sharing that sex plays a more important role in my thinking when I’m active sexually.
Obviously I’m not a doctor of psychology, but I’ll put forward that sexual activity engages an area of my brain that continues to be engaged as long as I’m having regular sex. When I’m not having regular sex, that area of my brain isn’t as engaged.
I like this; it means when sex isn’t available, I’m not obsessively thinking about it and seeking indiscriminate sex in an attempt to satiate my obsessive thoughts. But when sex is available, I’m happily obsessive to the degree that my passions can be satiated.
But that’s my brain, and I have to say, I did google but couldn’t find any studies to support my theory about me, so it might not be true scientifically, though it is true for me.
In any case, what I’m saying is that your experience is probably different. In fact I’m sure it is because it is safe to say that we are all different - that being so, how is your experience different from mine?
Do you place more importance on sex when it is available or when it isn’t available?
June 27th, 2007 at 7:22 am